It’s important to be aware of self-talk. Are you brewing over some past hurt or resentment, or constantly reminding yourself of the mistakes of the past?
Take a pause.
Listen to yourself as you would listen to a young child who is doubting them-self, being unsure about the unknown.
At that moment no logic and reasoning would help but just your presence, a gentle reassuring hug and above all attentive listening is what matters the most.
In exactly the same way, treat yourself without being hard on yourself or scolding or feeling foolish, as self -approval is most important. More so than expecting approval.
Do you know more you ignore, suppress your emotions, bigger and stronger they become!
Good, bad - we have labelled them so but in reality they are just a biochemical process in your body which calculates probability of your decision making. Of course! your culture, peers and education system plays a big role too but what is important is addressing your emotions and dealing with it objectively.
If you think you belong to thoughts then
you are surrendering to limiting, unproductive, even harsh thoughts and it can be about self- judgement or anticipating the worst.
If you think thoughts belongs to you then you certainly believe that you have the power to choose thoughts, challenge negative thoughts and even replace negative with positive ones irrespective of situations. Choose wisely!
Thoughts and intentions behind thoughts are very potent. Any ill feeling towards another, be it envy, anger or hatred, when borne in one's mind, create Karma which are stronger than the karmas produced by actions. If a hatred thought rises in mind, whether physical action follows it or not, but it surely poisons one’s mind and poisoning of mind becomes the cause of unhappiness and restlessness. So choose thoughts wisely
Our lives certainly already have some hugely meaningful sides to them, but we may well not be correctly valuing, understanding or appreciating these.
Each life has a unique energy, unique set of skills and talent to contribute to the wholeness! Each life came in yours to enrich your journey, good or bad way but it did add a lot to your own character.
Bring awarness,,, Just make each act of yours a gift to others life and to yourself too.
We all know what is meant by feeling of ‘coming home’. A place where we can fully be who we are we can breathe more freely, think clearly, shed all masks world demands from us.
Interestingly, we can create same experience in our mind too, an imaginary quiet spot, a place where noises are softened and we can float above the everyday world, especially during challenging situations.
Just a little pause, paying visit to quiet spot gives a completely different view or even some difficult questions get answered.
Going with the flow-It’s about attentive awareness to the reality of things, which never ignores planning and executing tasks but it’s an attitude of fully engaging in what one is doing and a humbling nudge to allow ourselves to experience and enjoy the present moment and putting resistance to rest.
Intense emotions such as anxiety and depression are painfully debilitating, managing them cause sufferers a good deal of shame and embarrassment which is way exhausting than the condition itself. Valium and Sertralin medication is a short- term remedy but is there an end to this silent epidemic?
Here are few tips while you are waiting in the queue to be seen by doc/ therapist
1. Edge off that excessive adrenaline in your body by exercising (cant emphasis enough)
2. Write it down- read and re read your feelings, now take a moment and think would a scientist accept this way of feelings? Or Would a judge? Where's the evidence? Then you write another list, a rational one.
3. Change your neural pathway- racing thoughts/ overwhelm is the most common root cause of anxiety, believe it or not - you can alter your thought pattern by replacing with rational ones.
4. Seek on line help - talking therapies like (CBT) can help immensely to alter thought patterns.
5. You are not alone- Each one of us is hardwire to use emotions for our survival - sometimes these emotions hits the roof as if there is no end to this pain but we can bounce back sooner or later.
Mental health services is experiencing high volume of requests from people wanting to access support services as we all going through uncertain times. So you are not alone but don’t hesitate to seek help!
There is beautiful story of a boy and the bull : This story begins with a young boy being gifted a small calf, from his father. As most young calves do, this calf struggled to walk initially. Wobbling and falling. The boy did not like seeing the calf struggle and so he picked the calf up and began to carry it to places. As time went on, the boy grew into a man and the calf grew into a young bull. Nonetheless, the boy (now man) still continued to carry the bull. He had built up a lot of strength and has reassured himself that he was able to keep on carrying his bull all the time. However, as the man began to age and become weaker/ more frail he began to struggle carrying the bull (which kept getting bigger and heavier). Thus, one day, the man was crushed by the weight of the bull and subsequently died.
The bull is a symbol of our worries that grow and build up with time. Initially, they are manageable, but if we don't address them and keep holding on to them , they will never learn how to 'walk'/ leave our minds, and thus, we can inevitably be crushed by them.
Learn to let go of worries and only way is bringing awareness to the ‘now’ moment.
When you feel exhausted than be sure it has less to do with physical fatigue and more to do with the fact that you are beating yourself up mentally and emotionally.
What you can do?
Take an honest look at your ruminating thoughts and repeated actions. Maybe you are dealing with multiple issues like people or situations in your life? May be a delayed project? Or you are overcommitted? Or sense of lack of control? or procrastination? Once you get clear on the root cause, you can redirect your energy to ease accumulated stress. Being organised, being realistic and doing batch tasks can help immensely.
Above all, self -love and self -acceptance is the key.
We are conditioned to look outside of ourselves for validation, support, and direction rather than look within but it’s never too late to honour self as an individual in our own right, with a will and purpose of our own. All it needs is willingness, commitment for unfolding and nurturing the seed within us.
How you can do it?
1. Address unprocessed emotions - give closure to past hurt.
2. Sit in silence for few minutes a day - listen to your feelings, it can be a body sensation or reoccurring thought or a reminder of a unfinished job.
3. Talk to someone trustworthy or write all about you felt. This journey requires hard work but the experience of ‘becoming’ is well worth.
Bringing awareness to whatever you do on daily basis. Trick is how to do it? Here are few tips:
1. Children: Let them learn in small spurts, take them out to feel the nature, tune into bugs, flowers or a bird sound,
2. Bring mindfulness to meal time - paying attention to color of food, it’s texture chewing slowly
3. Adults can understand power of thoughts and break cycle of energy draining monologue in their mind. Visualising thoughts as clouds coming and going can ease that restlessness
Let’s shift complimenting just on physical appearance
Here are few examples:
1. Your perspective is so refreshing!
2. Wow! I love your fierce passion!
3. You are one resilient person I have seen!
4. You make me feel so welcome!
5. You listen so attentively!
6. You help me to see my worth!
7. Your happy face is so contagious!
In science there is a Principle of momentum which explains the importance of initial amount of energy required to start a reaction which is always higher than the amount of energy needed to keep it going.
Same holds true for our ‘mindset’ - to bring a change, to bring a shift from stagnation to flow... you need to push past your feelings of resistance, push past comfort zone - whether its exercising or changing habit or building dream business - it’s just first full blown push, replace old patter, be in control.
Children tend to imitate the emotional back drop of the home environment.
When a child is crying more frequently and uncontrollably, throwing temper tantrums, or
older kids can’t relate or no longer want to spend time together then as a parent, it’s crucial to pause and check your own emotional state.
How you can do it?
1. Your child can help you. Yes, play a game with your child and ask what are mummy’s or daddy’s pet words and expression when they are happy? And when they are mad? (Be ready to get surprise!)
2. Parenting is challenging anyways so added work related or relationship stress does get overwhelming. So talk to your child about your feelings on the day when you are feeling low. In this way it will teach your child to name and express feelings. Let your child learn it’s okay to feel angry or jealous but there are tools to handle emotions before they take an ugly form.
3. Practice mindfulness. Deep Breathing -exercises are scientifically proven to beat stress.
4. We all get enough warnings before we flip our lid, try to identify triggers, physically remove yourself from the scene and take few deep breaths and remember the age difference between yourself and your child ..
You are your child’s role model!
We all are evolving, it is a natural part of this process that things tend to get out of balance, sometime overcompensating for an ability that was suppressed in our life or forgetting to be humble and considerate while over using some talent but let’s not forget we all can make that conscious choice to pause and self internalise to fine tune gifts of life.. which makes us so unique!
Just like a detox for the physical body, it’s important to clear out emotions that are stagnant and no longer serving us well.
How can you can do it?
1. Catch the emotion. How do you know you are angry? You frown or raise your voice. What about when anxious? You get a dry mouth, lack of appetite,breathlessness?
2. These are mere physical expressions of thoughts racing in your mind.
3. Catch your thoughts. This is the key. Take a few breaks in the day (2 minutes) and check what you are thinking, contemplating, blaming or even cursing yourself.
4. Write it down and read it at the end of the day. Check if you can you rephrase the negative sentence? What you would say to a loved one was feeling the same?
5. Do this on a routine basis. It works wonders!
Mindfulness and science behind it
At Emotional Fitness Guide we’re all about helping you feel amazing and live your best life. With all the negativity going on in the world at the moment, we created this video to help you build a more positive mindset and attract more positive energy into your life.
How to help a worried child.
Those of us who experience the value and the living presence of mindfulness in everyday life have no doubt that it is a path of wisdom, inner peace and personal development for human beings and that is necessary to cultivate it continuously, not only in formal moments but also in every opportunity that is presented to us.
An ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions first and then be able to understand other person’s emotions.
Emotional diet? Here are few tips I share with my teenage clients and fits apt for adult clients too Be conscious!
#Purpose #emotionalfitnessmatters #lifematters
When we struggle with intense emotions, sadness, anxiety or even addiction (coffee to over consumption of alcohol) it’s the mind that overpowers you!
It’s refusing to take your instruction! The mind becomes your master!
Where as its purely meant to serve you!
It’s a simple yet profound fact!
Then question is how to work on your mind?
When I use ‘self-care’ in my workshops it’s meant to work just on your mind!
The following are the key points we all can understand and work on;
1. Understand the brain is just the hardware and the mind is the software
2 . You are the programmer
3. Your program so far is a cocktail of information you received from the environment as a child, a teen and as an adult. It gets influenced by your environment every minute, everyday
4. Until now you might be unaware that every repeated action and reaction so far has made your habits, which over a period became your personality
5. If you are struggling with stress or any unwanted habit pattern all you need to do is – change the pattern, make a conscious choice to set a routine for yourself, be aware what information you are putting now, you can tweak information going in, you can create brand new, positive programs, once you realise you are the master, you are the controller- its a game changer then.. but by default you have given the remote control to your mind.
Mind is to Serve you!
Don’t let it become your Master!
Understand this! This is powerful!
Worry is the strongest emotions we all humans goes through irrespective of age, gender or profession. This video is one of the series released by ‘EMOTIONAL FITNESS GUIDE’. to help -how to deal with habit of worrying.
Let’s start talking again…
“We look before and after,
And pine for what is not;
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.”
Percy Bysshe Shelley, “Ode to a Sky Lark”
We, as a society, really have no idea how ‘suffocated’ people are in their emotions. Most people have ‘nobody’ to express themselves entirely to. Everyone is holding back their ‘vulnerabilities’ to maintain the ‘social image’ of a confident and happy person.
Heart-to-heart conversations have become ‘rare, artificial and shallow’. And most hearts are filled with *empty defences’.
Most people can’t even talk to their *life-partners openly* for the fear of being judged or rejected. Emotions await just a release. Social images make sure weakness is not glorified.
Children have ‘bottled up’ stress. Young people suffer anxiety and depression. It is just lack of social support. It is ‘lack of non-judgmental’ friendships. It is result of *fast and busy lives’ where nobody has time to just sit and watch someone cry. It is result of ‘instant and impatient lifestyle’ practices, that ‘emotions have started feeling like waste of time’.
We have ‘whatsapp and facetime and social media’ – and we also have ‘stress and anxiety and depression’.Our forefathers had neither. Because they talked to each other. Because talking helps.
The face-to-face type talking, the ‘just-listen-to-me’ type talking, the ‘hold-my-hand-and-let-me-cry’ type talking, the ‘sit-next-to-me-and-listen-to-my-silence’ type talking… the talking where the person can be themselves and ‘say anything they feel without the fear of any judgment or loss or rejection’.
Today we don’t like that type of talking. Those conversations when someone begins to undress one’s mind. In fact we ‘avoid people’. And so, mental illness is epidemic. Naturally. There is not much we can do. But we can offer a ‘listening’ !
Let’s let people talk without any fear. Let’s create conversations.
Let’s start talking again’.
Mind the gap- is about our ability to change knee jerk Reactions to sensible Response. This is one of the strategy which can be used by anyone irrespective of age, gender and profession. To learn more please visit
What if your child says, “I am ugly!”?
I know as parent it is heart breaking and our quick reaction is to respond, “no you are not ugly! You are
absolutely beautiful! “
What you can do as a parent?
Empathy! Empathy and empathy.
Our knee jerk reaction, “you are beautiful”, never reassures children, as in their understanding it’s
mummy/daddy you are not getting it.
Here are 4 tips next time you hear your child saying something negative about their physical
1. Don’t jump to fix their negative sentence
2. Empathise – acknowledge their feelings. For example- “Oh daring it hurts to not like the way you
look. I understand. I felt the same sometimes when I was your age.”
3. Reassure your child how you, when you were a child, shifted attention from physical beauty to
other skills and excelled.
4. Help your child to re-direct their negative feeling into a positive one (with your examples or that of
any aunt or uncles
Emotional fitness matters!